Stairwell

 Stairwell**

There was a rarely used stairwell 

At the local community college i attended

I don’t know when I decided it was a good idea to start drinking in there

But I did a few times

Usually friends would follow 

In my hand an ultramarine

Arizona iced tea bottle filled to the brim

With Jack and Coke

We’d all get giddy

Tom Z was especially funny about the situation

He was a bit older and worked at art a lot harder than most

He also enjoyed knocking the shit out of the rules

He was most famous for the naked painting he created right in the courtyard of the college

More than paint rubbed off of Tom Z 

His style and candor changed the atmosphere

He was bohemian in a sense

Hyper critical of his own work 

Yet could break free from that type of stress to enjoy all of the characters surrounding him

A perfect memory of Tom z would be that afternoon I started painting my own sweater during class

Either bored or annoyed at my own painting I turned the brush on myself

Tom walked over and started painting me as well

The professor just shook his head 

as a few more students followed suit

I wore the now most uncomfortable sweater the rest of the session with pride 

I’d visit my closest college friend Gus in Boston years later. He’d transferred with Tom Z to Mass Art. It was myself, blue, Gus and Tom.

We tramped around that area of the city in my car and then hit up their favorite record shop. Tom and I chomped on nicotine gum. We got each other without having to say too much. It was one brilliant day. 

It would be the very last time I’d see or talk to Tom. I may have interacted briefly with him over the early days of social media but there wasn’t a lot of memories to reflect on. 

The pigments of his life were full of grit and his heart gave out just as he was about to shine again. Renewed by his passions. 

Tom was always giddy about me drinking in that stairwell. Numb, dumb and fucked but I owned my deprivaity. He was a spectator that had all the bells and whistles. Longing to be of what I was just trying to escape.